Patterson Bigfoot vs Other Bigfoot, The Mark Anders Channel
In a remote jungle area, two intrepid adventurers, Paul Kersey and Harry Callahan, embarked on a broadcast that would take them into the heart of an unconventional discussion about Bigfoot. As they traversed the wild terrain, their voices carried through the dense undergrowth and the airwaves, addressing a rather unusual topic.
Paul Kersey: (chuckling) Is this a dating service for Bigfoot? You’re going to send people out there with these tranquilizer darts and put these two together. You want these two to have babies.
Harry Callahan: (grinning) What I’m thinking though is that there was someone on that Ten Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty that was speculating about dating Bigfoot. We might be able to set some of our viewers up with a female Bigfoot.
Paul Kersey: (with a mischievous grin) Put it out there. Hey, if you want to maybe possibly get with female Bigfoot, leave a comment. It’s okay. It is a human. It’s going to get personhood. It’s not like you’re going to be with an animal.
Harry Callahan: (nodding) That is why they’re looking for personhood for Bigfoot.
Paul Kersey: (raising an eyebrow) Because they want to mate with Bigfoot.
Harry Callahan: (explaining) No. They’re very famous lawyers. I think one of them worked on the O. J. Simpson trial. They want to get personhood for great apes like chimpanzees.
Paul Kersey: (inquiring) Does this have a sexual connotation?
Harry Callahan: (pausing) Well, that’s what we’re talking about. If a species has personhood, and people want to have personhood for apes and others, also for Bigfoot.
Paul Kersey: (teasing) Then you’re allowed to have consensual activities.
Harry Callahan: (expressing concern) That’s what I’m concerned about. That doesn’t seem right, but that might be behind some of this.
Paul Kersey: (offering a humorous suggestion) You might be able to provide a service. You can advertise for this.
Harry Callahan: (firmly) I don’t want to advertise. I think that’s appalling.
Paul Kersey: (acknowledging) But if it gains personhood, why would that be appalling?
Harry Callahan: (stating his belief) Because something being legal doesn’t mean it’s right.
Paul Kersey: (providing a counterargument) If it’s legal, you can’t get in trouble for it.
Harry Callahan: (posing a philosophical question) You’re saying that the law, which is made up by humans, is the ultimate law. There’s nothing above it. There’s no natural law or anything else.
Paul Kersey: (defending his view) If people have personal feelings about this stuff…
Harry Callahan: (musing) So you’re saying that as long as the Bigfoot is consensual.
Paul Kersey: (jokingly) Yeah.
Harry Callahan: (serious) Well, I’d like our viewers to chime in on this one.
Paul Kersey: (encouraging) Please chime in on this one because I’m sure that there’s a truckload of people out there that are dying to have consensual activities with Bigfoot.
Harry Callahan: (reflecting) You’re talking about die-hards. There are die-hard Patterson/Gimlin enthusiasts that only think that the Patterson/Gimlin film is real.
Paul Kersey: (sharing an observation) And we related that to the fact that they are attracted because it’s a female. If it had been a male, it wouldn’t be the same level. It wouldn’t have become what it is.
Harry Callahan: (contemplating) There’s one guy in particular that does all this analysis of every single frame of the Patterson/Gimlin film and blows it up on his wall.
Paul Kersey: (making a light-hearted remark) It’s Bigfoot fascination.
Harry Callahan: (acknowledging) Yeah, and it’s a concern. If Bigfoot is given personhood, what’s going to happen to these die-hard enthusiasts?
Paul Kersey: (speculating) It’s the natural progression.
Harry Callahan: (pondering) I think the fascination is not necessarily with the female Bigfoot, which might be understandable given the looks of our Southern California Hollywood Bigfoot, which is more voluptuous and has a rounder rear end. But with the Patterson/Gimlin film, you have this small group of people that think that’s the only Bigfoot that could possibly exist. Is there something else behind their attraction?
Paul Kersey: (concluding with a hint of humor) Guys are attracted to all kinds of things, including knot holes in trees. Why can’t they be attracted to a Bigfoot?
Harry Callahan: (laughing) Yeah, but they’re attracted to the Patterson/Gimlin thing, and it’s a darn good thing that we’re coming up with other Bigfoot alternatives, maybe.
Paul Kersey: (with a grin) Well, a lot better looking.
As the two adventurers continued their broadcast, the jungle surrounding them echoed with their lighthearted banter, discussing the eccentric world of Bigfoot enthusiasts and the unusual questions it raised.
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